Spoiler: everybody lives

Fair warning: heavy family crap.  No promises as to this being the least bit interesting.

I act like a rock, but I am not one.  Well, maybe one of those "fool's gold" rocks that flakes apart.

I finally have something to say

I lost someone very dear to me.  I had not contacted him in 10 years, but that love was not diminished by any amount of time or space.  When I learned of his death, I cried.  I cried for three days.  I am about to cry again.  Only now, almost a week later, can I find *any* words.  I wanted to write about him.  I wanted to post about my love on Facebook and share my memories with his family.  But I *couldn't.*  I had nothing but choking pain.  Pain and regret for not working harder to stay in contact with him.  I really screwed up and let something precious slip through my fingers.