Sunday, November 20, 2011

Feeling frustrated.

I understand that I have it pretty good, relatively speaking.  But that doesn't make me immune from getting annoyed about petty things in the grand scheme of life.  I'm not a saint. 

Being home all of the time sucks.  It's for a great cause, so I suck it up and rarely complain.  I feel like I spend 80% of my day in the kitchen.  Which I hate.  I hate the floor, the dark, low cabinets, the stove, the refrigerator, the counters, the sink, the missing window, and the lack of preparation space.  I'm at the point where the kitchen makes me ill when I think about it.  At all.

So what can I do about it?  Well, the dark wood is sacred due to Justin's dad making them.  Can I have a small kitchen island?  Nope, there's never been a kitchen island, and therefore it can never happen.  Can I buy one?  Nope, it's not my money to "waste."  Can I get a cheap one from Craigslist?  Nope, "they're ugly" and/or "a pain in the ass" to pick up and since I can't drive the truck, I'm powerless to get it myself.  Oh, but he'll "make me one when he gets around to it" sometime after I've shot myself in the face, no doubt.

Probably the worst part is the powerlessness.  I am not used to having to ask for something.  I usually just go get it or do it.