My first sculpture in 16 YEARS.

Yes, I'm old.  And I'm only 34.  Weird.  I only feel old when muscles pop in my back or something.  I hate that.

Anyway, I got my clay, and set up shop in the basement.  I took over Justin's "woodworking" space.  He can share.  A little dismal, but I don't have many options.

I remember how to sculpt.  But it makes me sad that I have no one to ask all my little questions to.  Like what kind of clay should I be buying?  If I am supposed to keep the clay moist, why are my tentacles cracking?  I had the ultimate expert, but I've lost that opportunity.

I made this in about 1-2 hours.  I made something similar to this in high school, and Mr. Drake kept it in the school showcase forever.  When the high school moved, dumb football players were in charge of moving the sculptures, and they broke mine.  Jerks.

Frozen Rainbow Chiffon Cake

This cake blows my mind.  Want.  And thank you for typing this out, someone else.  :)

Perpetually Engaged: frozen rainbow chiffon cake

I finally have something to say

I lost someone very dear to me.  I had not contacted him in 10 years, but that love was not diminished by any amount of time or space.  When I learned of his death, I cried.  I cried for three days.  I am about to cry again.  Only now, almost a week later, can I find *any* words.  I wanted to write about him.  I wanted to post about my love on Facebook and share my memories with his family.  But I *couldn't.*  I had nothing but choking pain.  Pain and regret for not working harder to stay in contact with him.  I really screwed up and let something precious slip through my fingers.

DONE MOVING THINGS

Uhg.  That was tedious.  Well, here's to new stuff.

Lavender roots. No, not the herb. (June 17, 2011)

Well.  I knew the white blonde hair would not last long.  I loved it during cold months.... as I love the look of white blonde hair & super pale skin.  Summer brings out freckles and redness, which makes the blonde look more trashy and dry than anything else.  So I decided to go with lavender!

Jessica picks some soap colors (May 29, 2011)

SO my sister Jessica is staying with me for a few days, and I have been wanting to use a couple new FO's, so we made some soap.  She picked the colors.  She went with a perfectly respectable Emerald Mica and a Yellow Oxide.



I sort of hogged the mixing.... but I guess I didn't want to be blamed for her lying a toe off or something.  And by lying I mean "lye" not "lie."  Yes, I know how awesome I am.

Here's a 3 second video of me mixing lye and water!!!  Okay, 23 seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9OG-rPMvq8

But she DID add the French Pink Clay at trace.  GOOD JOB, JESS.  The yellow looked fine, but the emerald mica....turned olive.  It was a little scary at first, but it grew on me.

Soap Update (April 12, 2011)

Okay, so I unmolded the soap and cut it up.  While the top of the soap looks cool (with the exception of my noob air bubbles), the inside didn't end up nearly as fancy.







I'm a little let down by the inside, but they smell nice....a woodsy scent.  It's not super strong....because I have no patience, if you remember.  I placed the bars on a drying rack where they will sit for a couple of weeks to dry out.

YAY NEW HOBBY (April 11, 2011)

I made my first batch of cold-process soap!!!!!  It wasn't too bad at all.  The worst part was trying to get the SOLID palm kernel oil out of a 2 inch opening.  I ended up sitting the 7 gallon jug in a pot of hot water....and also shoving a knife in there trying to get it out.  I am going to have to look for a giant tupperware container....because that was possibly the most annoying thing I've done in the past year.  That way, I can melt it all at once, and then just scoop it out.

Working with lye was a little scary... I was scared to death that some of it would fall out and I wouldn't see it.  I pretty much sprayed the whole area in vinegar to neutralize it.  I mixed the lye into the water outside....and totally wore this:





I totally forgot to add the fragrance when the soap was still in the pot.  I tossed it in once the soap was in the mold and whisked it through.  I added only half the recommended fragrance....not because I was afraid the scent would be too strong, but because watching the fragrance oil come out drop by drop was excruciating.  It will be interesting to see if the fragrance holds.

I didn't get my color pigments yet....but I didn't want to wait any longer.  I pulled out the Hershey's baking powder, and used that to make some of the soap brown.  All of the books recommend not trying to use color in your first batch...but why would I listen to that?  My swirl was far from perfect...there is definitely an art to it.  Unfortunately, I tried to move the mold immediately, and the soap shook a little and messed up the twirls a bit.  Blah.  Whatevs.  OMG PICTURES.

Old Pantyhose Dolls. Ew! (November 26, 2010)

We went to my aunt's for thanksgiving, and she produced the creepy pantyhose dolls!  They are even worse than I remember.

Behold:





It also looks like I used a rubber band to create the nose.  It likely never occurred to me that it would eventually break.  And yes, I just used some blue marker for the eyes.  And stuffed it with cotton balls.



We've moved up to button eyes and yarn hair!  But we've lost hands.  Not sure if that's a wash.



I actually remember this one quite well.  It was a pattern that I cut out, and then cut fabric to match the pattern.  Of course I hadn't the slightest idea how to sew.  No one I knew did things like that at the time.  In fact, if a coat lost a button....we probably just got new coats.

So anyway, there are the aforementioned dolls.  BTW, I would like to confirm that is indeed a word.

Bird Dish Towel for Dot (November 25, 2010)

Dot is my mom.  Yes, we often call her Dot instead of "mom."  (Yes, I used the correct punctuation.  I am deliberate, people.)

This is a pattern from the Sublime Stitching Craft Pad.  I've modified it a touch because parts of it were irritating to me.

Owl Softie (November 25, 2010)

I like owls.  I like little dolls.  I like creepy things.  Apparently, I used to make little dolls for my aunt out of pantyhose.  It probably wasn't even clean pantyhose.  But I digress.

I saw a design for an owl and Raccoon softie in an Aimee Ray book, and I took the basic outline and then went my own way with it.  Rules hurt my heart.  I didn't plan what I was going to do...I kind of made it up as I went along.  I was initially thinking of putting a big bug on the belly, but I ultimately decided that would be too much and that I would save the bugs for another project.  I've got lots of ideas for bugs.  Don't worry.

Cabbage Patch Kid Rescue Part 3 (November 15, 2010)

Alllll done!  Don't they look nice?  I bought the Spanish CPK outfit from eBay... and the purple one from Etsy.  Somehow, they only look right in their original outfits, though.  I also bought a lot of shoes from eBay...so I'll get them on as soon as they arrive.

Getting Organized (November 11, 2010)

Do I usually do titles in "title case"?  I can't remember.  Also, I KNOW you're supposed to include the ending punctuation within the quotes if it ends the sentence, but that annoys me.  I wasn't trying to say "title case?"...I just wanted to say "title case".  See what I did there?  I defied it again.

Anyways, I finally organized all my embroidery shit.  I am exceedingly proud of myself.  Here is how I was working before:



Notice the "floss organizer" underneath the pile of floss.  I bought that as a possibly organizing technique...but when I realized that would require me to hand-wind every floss color around a stupid "bobbin" in order to fit in the case, I eschewed that plan.  I hate the word bobbin, too.

Enter this awesome (even if grossly colored) new carrying case!!!!  Plus, it was an extra bonus for being on clearance for $10.  I am all about it.  Again...so proud of myself.  (But this rarely happens, so let me milk it a little bit.)







Of course, I ran out of the floss-stretcher-thingies, but I'll go get more today after my mom comes over.  I don't mind shopping with Big G, but it's sooooo easier to make a ton of little stops without having to strap her in and out and in and out and in and out of the car seat, cart, stroller.  I'll bet you got tired just reading that.

Cabbage Patch Kid Rescue Part 2 (November 10, 2010)

The fan-drying method worked just fine!  The cat was pissed, though.  My only complaint is that the fabric and yarn does not feel as soft as I think it should...almost too dry.  On their faces, I used a combination of Magic Eraser (but I avoided the paint) and Bon Ami with a toothbrush on the painted areas.  I have such an irrational fear of Magic Erasers, because WHAT MAKES THEM SO MAGICAL?  Seriously, those things can remove any stain from ANYTHING.  HOW????  I always wash my hands after I touch them.

Anyway, here are the CPKs all clean and dry.  The preemie is already hanging out upstairs in her preemie outfit.

Cabbage Patch Kid Rescue Part 1 (November 8, 2010)

So I was at my parents' house yesterday, and came across a bag filled with my sister's and my own old cabbage patch kids.  Unfortunately, it seems several generation of mice also made their home in the bag....ruining some of the clothes.  For some reason, they left the dolls alone!  But of course, the dolls are probably ridden with mouse excrement and disease.  GROSS!  I found a couple online articles about cleaning up old CPKs, but I have no idea how successful I will be.

It's a Stump Pin Cushion! (November 8, 2010)

Don't feel bad.  I had to explain it to my husband, Justin, as well.  This project came out of Aimee Ray's first Doodle Stitching book.  I needed a pin cushion (not really) and since I'm poor and I like all things woodland, I tried my hand at this.  I'm sorry that I didn't take pictures while it was in progress, but I promise to do so in the future.  (I have a baby, so don't hold me to that.)

If I were craftier, I would have made some little mushroom and leaf pins using polymer clay.  Alas, I am lazy above all else.  I'm also hesitant to introduce those fumes into the same oven I use to cook our food.

Deer Dish Towel (November 8, 2010)

This took a surprisingly short amount of time!  The basic deer with leaves and stems is a Sublime Stitching pattern.  I didn't feel like cutting up the transfer, so I traced the design onto the fabric using a wash-out ink and a light box.  Of course, I could barely see the design through the towel...but this is what I got.  I added the mushrooms at the top and the dots at the bottom.  I didn't wash it yet... so I'm HOPING the blue marker washes out.  =)  I will update the post after I wash and iron it.  My husband wants to frame this instead of use it as a dish towel.  Go figure.

Embroidery Practice (November 8, 2010)

So I'm a week into learning how to embroider.  I'm surprised how much I am enjoying it!  It's like painting but without the mess.  Ths is an old pillowcase I chopped up.  I wonder who it belonged to.  Oh well!

The basic circle design came from Aimee Ray's Doodle Embroidery book.... but of course I embellished.

Multiple Blog Disorder

I was *JUST* going to start pulling in my Wordpress posts.

Then I saw how many private posts I had.  And realized I could not post private posts HERE.  WHY NOT, BLOGGER?  WHY NOT?

Sometimes, I just gotta say stuff and know no one can see it.   I really DO like blogspot best,  Though I suspect my main love stems from the bug background with the lime green topping.  I am shallow like that.

 Yeah, I am sticking with blogger. I'll pull my Wordpress entries over tonight!! I'll just use Wordpress for private ones. I feel better. That was a huge decision.

Feeling frustrated.

I understand that I have it pretty good, relatively speaking.  But that doesn't make me immune from getting annoyed about petty things in the grand scheme of life.  I'm not a saint. 

Being home all of the time sucks.  It's for a great cause, so I suck it up and rarely complain.  I feel like I spend 80% of my day in the kitchen.  Which I hate.  I hate the floor, the dark, low cabinets, the stove, the refrigerator, the counters, the sink, the missing window, and the lack of preparation space.  I'm at the point where the kitchen makes me ill when I think about it.  At all.

So what can I do about it?  Well, the dark wood is sacred due to Justin's dad making them.  Can I have a small kitchen island?  Nope, there's never been a kitchen island, and therefore it can never happen.  Can I buy one?  Nope, it's not my money to "waste."  Can I get a cheap one from Craigslist?  Nope, "they're ugly" and/or "a pain in the ass" to pick up and since I can't drive the truck, I'm powerless to get it myself.  Oh, but he'll "make me one when he gets around to it" sometime after I've shot myself in the face, no doubt.

Probably the worst part is the powerlessness.  I am not used to having to ask for something.  I usually just go get it or do it.

I am mediocre.

I am full of lose tonight.  I am fairly certain that I used to be good at things.  I haven't a scrap of ambition left.  Anytime I feel it or get excited about something, it is immediately extinguished by a lack of finance, lack of mobility, or lack of confidence.  I can't spend 6+ hours driving to skate.  I can't travel.  I can't afford classes.

I can't follow through on anything, anyway, since I know it would be mediocre at best.  I envy people who seem to be good at everything.  Hell, I would like to be really good at just one thing.

Freaking amazing baked pasta casserole. Freaking CHEAP, too.

Did you ever think you would read "amazing" and "pasta" and "casserole" in the same sentence?  Well.  Welcome to my playground.

I can't take credit for the original recipe, but as I modified the crap out of it, I will anyway.  Here are the ingredients:

AMAZING HOMEMADE BREAD

Wow!  So I turned my back on Steve the Bread Guy.  Sorry, Steve.  Nothing personal.  I had a bookmarked bread recipe on allrecipes.com, and set out making it.  Of course, I failed to read the bit about the recipe being make for a breadmaker, but that's generally how I roll.

Roller derby. A pipe dream?

I've played roller derby for.... wow.... 6 or 7 years, now. I stopped playing in 2009 because I got pregnant...and really haven't been back.

I miss my lavender hair. =(

Bathroom self-portraits just haven't felt the same since.

Analysis of a Kitchen Cupboard

Why do we amass what we amass?  Do you plan it out & buy it all at once?  I lack that kind of foresight.  My unintentional collection has mismatched itself over 15 years.  Also, I may as well admit now that I went through a very unfortunate 5 year long Crate & Barrel phase.


WARNING:  I make no promises as to the interestingness of this post.

The cute.... THE GODDAMN CUTE

Quote from Anne of Green Gables

Anne felt as if she had lived years since then, but before she went to bed there was a smile on her lips and peace in her heart.  She had looked her duty courageously in the face and found it a friend- as duty ever is when we meet it frankly.

Cooking with ramen

Really?  Yes.  And let's be honest.... don't you secretly WANT an excuse to buy a huge case of ramen?  I know I always do.  Hell, I watched my husband eat a pack of uncooked ramen noodles last week.  Sure, I was a bit appalled, but the fact remains that I'm the one that supplied them.
And you know what?  It's CHEAP.  Soooooo cheap.  The noodles themselves aren't in league with the devil... it's the seasoning packet that you have to shield your soul from.
So here's the ingredients:

We've got:

• 2 tbsp olive or sesame oil
• 1 onion cut in half then into long thin slivers
• 1 carrot, thinly sliced
• 2 c slivered cabbage
• 1 clove garlic minced
• 3 packages oriental flavor ramen noodle packages
• 1 c bite-size broccoli florets
• 1 c water
• 2 tbsp soy sauce
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 2 tbsp cornstarch
• 1/2 t grated fresh ginger
• Sprinkle of sesame seeds

I can haz sewing skillz?

Do I know how to sew?  Nope.  

Does that stop me from wanting this sewing machine?  Nope.

This brings me so much joy.

WTF Hooligans?

Yes, people much smarter and tuned in than myself have discussed why the “youth” rioting in England should not be so surprising. But at the end of the day…. there are law-abiders and law-breakers.

Haunted by Snickerdoodles

I had to make them.
I HAD TO.

And then I had to give most of them away so I didn't eat all of them in 2 days.  But what a sad, sad night it was when the snickerdoodles were all gone.  :(

Poor/cheap/lazy woman's guide to Sangria

Put some sliced lemons & limes in the bottom of a glass.  Bonus points for strawberries.  Add a bit of sugar if you are feeling super fancy.

Shove as much ice as you possibly can into the glass.

Fill up the glass half-way with wine.  WALK AWAY.

Wait until the wine is flush with the ice.  At this point, drink it or add even MORE ice to re-top it off.  

I did mention lazy, correct?  Add impatient.

Also, if you are REALLY hard up, this works with just lemons.  Or just ice and sugar.

NOTE: more fruit adds fanciness points, but subtracts poor & cheap & lazy points.  Do with that what you will.   

Wheatish Bread, Take II

I did it!!  It happened!!!  And then I ripped the loaf all up getting it out of the pan.  Ah well.  They can't all be winners, can they?

Same Steve the Bread Guy recipe.  Well, sort of- I used 3 cups of white flour, and 3.5 c of whole wheat flour.  

I had my *game face* on this time.  No playing around.  Here's the pictures:

Baked Falafel Balls!

Baked falafel balls!  I still had a couple of cans of chick peas, and I was craving falafel, so I gave this recipe a whirl.  Lemme link you the recipes:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/jeanies-falafel/detail.aspx

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/tzatziki-ii/detail.aspx

I love allrecipes.com.  

They were a *little* dry, but I did bake them and not deep-fry them as suggested.

Maybe you don't mind working with scalding oil & then cleaning it up... and more power to you!  I wanted no part of it.  Not that I thought this at the time, but a wandering, ball-throwing toddler would be an excellent reason to never deep-fry.